Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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