What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
