dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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