Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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