I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
