they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
