omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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