Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
