Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
