I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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