Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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