I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
