walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
