Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
