you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
