i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I'm always down for nudity.
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