I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
