so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize