I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
