$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
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I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
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After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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