so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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