All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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