You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Your cock deserves a montage
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
