kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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