I heard we made out
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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