when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
