wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
