well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
