That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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