She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
