yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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