So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
