I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
