I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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