You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize