I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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