I just pynch a tree in the face
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
