would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
