Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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