Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
