Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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