"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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