what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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