the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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