We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
