She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
