I think im going to throw up on grandma
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
