Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
