I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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