Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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