I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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