seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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