your room smells of hookers.
And success
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
