ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
they're like a gay fantastic four
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
