Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
