3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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