how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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