dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
