apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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