I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Do vagina's smell?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
